Why dads need to experience "Mommy and Me" events themselves

You thought you were safe after mother's day has passed, but then you get it in the mail. A “mommy and me” event hosted by the school, and your child really wants to go. The problem? There is no mom. Events that focus on a specific parent can be hard on children whose parents are divorced, missing, or have passed on. 

As a single parent, it can be hard to decide what to do for these events. The truth is, as long as what ever choice you make comes out of love, there are no wrong decisions. If there's a big mom event coming up and you're wondering what to do, here are a few things you can try:

Go anyway

Sure, you're not the mom, but there's no reason why you can't go anyway. Most parents are understanding of single status, and will be supportive of your choice to come to the event even if you're not actually female. 

 Some men have even gone so far as to wear a dress, or try to appear more feminine to be “Mr. Mom,” but it's not necessary to show your support for your child. In the end, going to the event is about love, not what gender you are.

 But make it clear mom isn't replaceable

If mom has passed away, taking over mom events might make it feel like you're saying she's replaceable. If she isn't interested in having a hand in the raising of the kids or can't be there, that doesn't mean that motherhood is something that should be erased from their lives.

Even if their particular mom doesn't seem worthy to you, there's a lot more behind upholding motherhood than just giving them a chance to honor their mom. One day, your daughter might be a mother. One day, your son might marry a woman who will be his children's mom. Knowing that this is a position that needs to be respected is something that will help them in the future.

Can't make it? Let family help

As a single father, things can be especially rough during these events. When your job is the only job, you can't always make every school event, or take time off for mother's day. If you can't make it, it's perfectly fine to ask an aunt, grandma, or even a friend your child adores to be present. If your child would feel more comfortable going to a mom and me event with grandma, letting them go could be the best for both of you.

Mother's day, or even just mom events at the school, can be a tough one to navigate with your child. If you're not sure what's right for your child, feel free to make them part of the conversation before you take action. If your son or daughter can let you know what they'd like, it can help you make the best decision that is right for both of you. After all, they're the one you're doing this for, so their happiness is the most important thing to take into consideration.